I have zero interest in politics.

I haven't even voted in years.

(When every candidate out there sucks harder than a sorority girl on Mountain Weekend, why would I back any of them?)

The only reason I bring this topic up is, not long ago, I read about a local politician who claimed to have gained 30 kg (not pounds, kilograms!) of muscle when he first started lifting weights in the army.

And, he said it all happened in less than a year.

Anyone this side of Ray Charles can recognize the fallacy of that at first sight.

Unless you're enjoying some favorable assistance from Dr. Deca, you won't gain 30 kilograms of muscle in your entire lifetime. Even then, that would be a hyooge stretch.

30 kg in a year?! Lemme have some of the magic shrooms this guy's been savoring.

He also claimed to have benched 150 kg (330 pounds) when he was at his biggest.

Well, the article where he dropped these nice lil' knowledge bombs also contained a few pics of him. And, while I would never make fun of someone based on his appearance, in this case it's fair to say he likely has never even benched two plates. He was that skinny and frail in the pictures.

Which brings us to the point of today's email...

What makes a successful politician?

Which attributes and actions pave the way when someone's running for Congress? Or trying to get elected locally?

By far the most important characteristic for career advancement in politics?

The ability to drop lies with a DeNiro-esque poker face.

​When someone claims to have added 30 kilograms of muscle mass without skipping a beat, they've clearly got that one down pat.

A few other helpful ones that come to mind immediately:

* Backstabbing

* Cheating

* Bribing

* Breaking promises

* Being entitled

* Negotiating shady backroom deals

* Breaking and being above the law

* Lining your own pockets with as much of the green stuff as possible

I could go on. And on. And awwnnn...

At the end of the day, politicians don't care about your or my ​prosperity.

They are just like prostitutes:

​​You give them your money. And then they screw you.

I find politicians despicable.

Scum of the earth.

The exact opposite of hockey players using my Next Level Hockey Training System.

No, you won't gain 30 kg of muscle on this program.

Nor will you ever bench press 330 pounds with a 99% likelihood.

(After all, how many guys in the NHL bench 300+ pounds? Or at the public gym down the street? A few, tops.)

If you think I'm ​underestimating what is humanly possible, and ​would rather be fed lies ​through an IV drip attached to your arm, pumping you full of nonsense and bogus claims to the contrary, so be it. My training program isn't right for you.

What ​​it can do for you, however, is boost your skating speed, outmuscle the other guy in board battles, plus snipe the top corner with lethal velocity.

Then you'll stick out on the ice like an honest man in Washington DC.

Try it out for yourself today at:

http://www.NextLevelHockeyTraining.com

Yunus Barisik