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Why Politicians Are Like Prostitutes

I have zero interest in politics.

I haven't even voted in years.

(When every candidate out there sucks harder than a sorority girl on Mountain Weekend, why would I back any of them?)

The only reason I bring this topic up is, not long ago, I read about a local politician who claimed to have gained 30 kg (not pounds, kilograms!) of muscle when he first started lifting weights in the army.

And, he said it all happened in less than a year.

Anyone this side of Ray Charles can recognize the fallacy of that at first sight.

Unless you're enjoying some favorable assistance from Dr. Deca, you won't gain 30 kilograms of muscle in your entire lifetime. Even then, that would be a hyooge stretch.

30 kg in a year?! Lemme have some of the magic shrooms this guy's been savoring.

He also claimed to have benched 150 kg (330 pounds) when he was at his biggest.

Well, the article where he dropped these nice lil' knowledge bombs also contained a few pics of him. And, while I would never make fun of someone based on his appearance, in this case it's fair to say he likely has never even benched two plates. He was that skinny and frail in the pictures.

Which brings us to the point of today's email...

What makes a successful politician?

Which attributes and actions pave the way when someone's running for Congress? Or trying to get elected locally?

By far the most important characteristic for career advancement in politics?

The ability to drop lies with a DeNiro-esque poker face.

​When someone claims to have added 30 kilograms of muscle mass without skipping a beat, they've clearly got that one down pat.

A few other helpful ones that come to mind immediately:

* Backstabbing

* Cheating

* Bribing

* Breaking promises

* Being entitled

* Negotiating shady backroom deals

* Breaking and being above the law

* Lining your own pockets with as much of the green stuff as possible

I could go on. And on. And awwnnn...

At the end of the day, politicians don't care about your or my ​prosperity.

They are just like prostitutes:

​​You give them your money. And then they screw you.

I find politicians despicable.

Scum of the earth.

The exact opposite of hockey players using my Next Level Hockey Training System.

No, you won't gain 30 kg of muscle on this program.

Nor will you ever bench press 330 pounds with a 99% likelihood.

(After all, how many guys in the NHL bench 300+ pounds? Or at the public gym down the street? A few, tops.)

If you think I'm ​underestimating what is humanly possible, and ​would rather be fed lies ​through an IV drip attached to your arm, pumping you full of nonsense and bogus claims to the contrary, so be it. My training program isn't right for you.

What ​​it can do for you, however, is boost your skating speed, outmuscle the other guy in board battles, plus snipe the top corner with lethal velocity.

Then you'll stick out on the ice like an honest man in Washington DC.

Try it out for yourself today at:

http://www.NextLevelHockeyTraining.com

Yunus Barisik

How the Golden Brett Went From Donuts to Greatness

“At age 17, Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux were already headed for greatness. At age 17, I was headed for donuts.

As an adolescent, I was a better candidate for Weight Watchers than the National Hockey League.

Fat chance anyone expected me to end up a $1-million-dollar-per-year hockey player. People saw me as a pudgy, fun-loving, music-crazed bum, cruising North Vancouver in a deathtrap 1975 Ford Pinto station wagon.”

– Brett Hull

 
 

​I was reading Brett Hull's autobiography "Brett: His Own Story" and came across that gem of a quote above.

The son of NHL legend Bobby "The Golden Jet" Hull, here's a guy blessed with primo genetics.

Yet - he struggled with the game as a teenager.

He was lazy and lacked direction and a sense of purpose.

Paying zero attention to his diet and off-ice training, Hull would play midget hockey weighing a soft 215 pounds.

(His NHL weight hovered around 200 pounds)

Came nowhere close to leading his team in scoring.

Wasn't even the #1 right wing on their roster.

Not surprisingly, no junior team showed the slightest interest in Vancouver's only right winger who came with love handles.

At that point in Hull's life, any thoughts about the NHL were pure fantasy.

Yet a few short years later, he was a point-per-game player on a Calgary Flames team featuring prominent names like Joe Nieuwendyk, Lanny McDonald, Joe Mullen and Gary Roberts.

The rest, as they say, is history.

2 Stanley Cups.

3 back-to-back 70+ goal seasons.

1269 NHL games. 741 goals. 1391 points.

Famous World Cup victory over Canada in '96.

That infamous Cup-clinching OT goal for Dallas in '99.

(Was his foot in Hasek's crease or not??? Who cares!)

Not only that, Hull has scored more goals in a single season (86) than anyone else in the game not named Gretzky.

So what took the Golden Brett from donuts to greatness?

Realizing that even with the talent inherited from his dad, he'd have to take initiative and personal responsibility if he ever wanted to see his NHL dream come true.

He'd shoot pucks for three hours every day in the summer.

And, of course, put work in inside the weight room and at the dinner table to get rid of the excess flab that was slowing him down on the ice.

Hull may have been a lazy teenager when it came to living the athletic lifestyle. But he dropped his lousy habits that were holding him back, did a 180, and hopped aboard before the NHL train had left the station for good.

And what a career it turned out to be.

The point?

It's never too late to become the best hockey player you can be.

Discover how to elevate your game to top notch today right here:

http://www.NextLevelHockeyTraining.com

Yunus Barisik

All Steak, No Sizzle

So I took my girl to this upscale steak restaurant last weekend.

They've got the best steaks in town and it reflects ​in their prices.

I never look forward to receiving the bill at this place, but I do enjoy wearing a fine suit with a sexy chica on my arm in public, so I don't mind splurging on a fancy meal every once in a while.

Anyway, while we were looking at the menu trying to decide which of the many mouth-watering meats to try, I remembered a great analogy I heard from football strength coach Joe DeFranco.

It compares going out to dinner to training for athletic performance.

Here's the gist of it...

When you go out to dinner, you've got a structured sequence that you follow:

Appetizer.

Main course.

Dessert.

With the appetizers, you're gonna try them but you don't wanna get too crazy because you want to save room for the main dish. Which is usually the reason you go to a restaurant in the first place - they've got some great steak, sushi, burgers, or whatever it is that tickles your belly that night.

Then you move on to the main course and that's usually when you stuff yourself a bit.

Finally, after polishing off the entrée and craving something sweet to finish the night on a high note, you order dessert.

How does this all relate to performance training?

Patience, babycakes. It will all make sense in a moment.

With an athlete, you've got this huge menu of physical attributes that you could potentially chow down.

Strength. Speed. Mobility. Agility. Hypertrophy. Conditioning. And the list goes on...

But, some of those attributes are more important than others.

And you gotta know which ones to take a nibbling bite or two out of, and which ones to attack like a rabid alligator attacks a hapless swimmer crossing the Everglades with a pound of prime rib tied around his waist.

Here's a quick rundown of common qualities hockey players need in their sport and how I view them in a dinner setting:

* Appetizer:

Mobility = bread

Aerobic conditioning = salad

* Main course

Maximal strength = mashed potatoes

Speed and agility = steak

* Dessert

Hypertrophy = chocolate ice cream

Am I saying mobility, conditioning or muscle size are not important for a hockey player?

Never claimed that.

But if all you ever did was yoga push-ups, run mile after mile on the track, or blast your muscles from every possible angle with 25 sets per body part per workout, you'd wolf down the bread, salad and chocolate ice cream, leaving zero room for the entrée (steak and mashed potatoes).

Thus, you'd never maximize the most important physical qualities needed on the ice - strength and speed.

Luckily though, my Next Level Hockey Training System was designed to improve your strength and speed, first and foremost.

It's all steak, no sizzle.

And super tasty, too.

So don't go crazy on the finger foods and sweets.

Leave some room for the main course.

Come treat yourself to a savory bite at:

http://www.NextLevelHockeyTraining.com

Yunus Barisik

Police Pop Pistol-Packing Penny Perpetrator

Check these wackos out:

Enraged that a 7-Eleven clerk would not accept a chunk of dirty, grimy pennies as payment for items, a Florida woman trashed the convenience store and, with guns in hand, threatened to shoot the employee.

After she fled the scene, the po-po later scooped up this pistol-packing, penny-passing perp in an unrelated incident - with her pointing a gun at another woman during a street dispute.

Another criminal mastermind busted and locked away... Good riddance.

Anyways, this all reminds me a lot of what goes on in the training world.

Here's what I mean:

People ​fooling around with "dirty, grimy pennies" like leg extensions, pec deck flyes, concentration curls and triceps kickbacks.

Then getting upset, even enraged several months down the line when they finally realize those do nothing for your strength or performance.

My advice to these peeps?

Ditch that worthless pocket change (pronto!) and focus on movements that deliver the most bang for your buck.

Movements like:

* Squats

* Chin-ups

* Deadlifts

* Power cleans

* Rows

* Presses

Those are exercises that build strength that transfers over to the athletic field.

And, worth every little penny in your pockets.

Here's how to get the most out of them:

http://www.NextLevelHockeyTraining.com

Yunus Barisik

World’s Most Expensive Burger

If you've got some extra cash to blow and a taste for luxury, why not try the world's most expensive burger?

Created by a Dutch chef in The Hague, it comes with a whopping price tag of $2247.

What makes this burger so pricey?

For one, the burger contains some of the most lavish ingredients you can buy, including lobster, caviar, foie gras, and truffle.

Then, the beef patty. A blend containing the most expensive steak in the world - a Japanese dry-aged Wagyu, while the other is a luxurious Black Angus beef steak. The meat used for the burger alone costs around $330 per pound.

Oh, and the prime toppings... lobster infused with Hermit Dutch Coastal gin, artisan Remeker cheese, Japanese fruit tomatoes and upscale Iberian ham.

The burger sauce is made using lobster and a host of other top-quality ingredients that reads like a gourmand's dream shopping list: Jamaican Blue Mountain Coffee, Madagascan vanilla, saffron, and Japanese soy.

And to top it all off, the brioche burger bun (worth almost $150 on its own) is covered in 24-karat gold leaf.

Before the chef even starts cooking with these ingredients, the total cost for the burger has surpassed $1100. Add in a healthy profit margin for the time and effort it takes him to whip up this culinary gem, and we're looking at a swanky price tag of $2247.

This all reminds me of my Bulletproof Hockey Hips product.

How so?

It's very pricey, too.

There are many cheaper and inferior products you can choose from. And if price is the most important thing, then you should choose them.

But Bulletproof Hockey Hips is for people who don't want to waste time.

Who don't want to deal with nasty hip injuries and other problems later.

And who want to sleep at night knowing their game ain't suffering because of that.

Yes, it's expensive.

But the reality is Bulletproof Hockey Hips does not "cost" anything because it saves you money.

Money you would otherwise spend on massage/manual therapy/chiropractic adjustments rehabbing hip flexor or groin strains.

(Or worse - lower back pain resulting from tight hips)

Not only that, those types of injuries are painful and can take a long time to heal.

In fact, Bulletproof Hockey Hips saves you $$$ the FIRST time you use it.

That's because a penny of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Plus, it comes with an unconditional 90-day money back guarantee.

Use the routines inside every day for 90 days.

If your hips don't feel stronger and more mobile after doing so, I'll buy it back from you.

That means I take all the risk, not you.

Check it out today (before the price goes up by another $50) at:

http://Next-Level-Athletics.com/Bulletproof

Yunus Barisik

Scouting Report for President Putin

Mindlessly surfing online one day, I came across this royal hockey stat out of Mother Russia:

In an exhibition game with retired NHL players, Russian president Vladimir Putin scored eight goals. Putin's team won 18-6, with most of the 62-year-old president's goals coming on assists from ex-NHL stars Pavel Bure and Valeri Kamensky.

Digging a bit deeper, I was able to find a scouting report prepared by a US sports scout on Putin’s hockey abilities. Some highlights from the scouting report:

* "Skates fine in a straight line, but his turning radius exhibits all the grace of a 500 foot-long Russian battleship."

* "He must be well known in Russian hockey circles for having Gordie Howe’s well-educated elbows, because everybody seems to give him a wide berth – he certainly knows how to make room for himself."

* "As for the other aspects of his game, well... let’s just say his wrist shot is a little weak."

Ouch.

"Weak wrister."

"Turns like a 500 foot-long Russian battleship."

Not exactly flattering, eh?

So I decided to lend the good Prez a helping hand by giving him some pointers on how to improve his game. Here goes:

Privyet, comrade Putin!

Let's start with the ​positives, shall we?

You seem to have a natural knack for scoring goals. With speedsters like Bure and Kamensky on your line, you'll create lots of scoring opportunities no matter who you're playing against.

Plus, you know how to create space with those high-flyin' elbows like Mr. Hockey did in his heyday. So definitely keep using that to your advantage.

What worries me, however, is your movement on the ice.

Sounds like we've got some work to do with your skating and overall athleticism.

As you well know, when the legs go, you're done as a hockey player. Can't keep up with the pace of the game, can't do nada with the puck.

So here's what we're gonna do:

​First, we'll introduce some weighted squat and deadlift variations into your training. Both on one leg as well as two legs.

Nothing super heavy to begin with - just a good, challenging weight you can perform with textbook form, adding a little more resistance week to week. You'll notice an improvement in your first step quickness and general fitness levels pretty soon, I promise.

Second, we're gonna jump to increase your explosiveness. For someone with as many years of hockey under your belt as you have, we gotta keep an eye out on potential knee and low back issues.

Replicating what all the young'uns do at our gym would be inappropriate for you, so we gotta scale the intensity and volume back a bit. Low-impact jumping like box and vertical jumps, perhaps some low hurdle jumps, things of that nature would fit your situation very well.

Third, we gotta work on your stop-and-go/change-of-direction abilities. Off the ice that would include exercises like shuttle runs and agility drills. On the ice, blueline to blueline sprints with quick deceleration and immediately exploding in the other direction is one of the drills I like to use with my players.

With the right training approach, I believe you still have a few more ​productive years of hockey left in you.

Furthermore, I know you take great pride in how athletes are developed in Russia from a very young age through discipline, hard work and commitment. I dig that style and you'll be happy to hear those are also the cornerstones behind my Next Level Hockey Training System.

It's the perfect off-ice training program for a hockey aficionado such as yourself.

Not to brag or anything, but several of the players I coach have gone on to represent our National Team at the U18 and U20 World Championships, beating Team Russia many, many times in the playoffs.

Yes, the results have been that ​outstanding.

Come again, comrade?

What I've told you makes sense, you say?

And you can't wait to get your hands on Next Level Hockey Training 2.0 to see what the fuzz is about?

Why, it's patiently waiting for you right here, right now:

http://www.NextLevelHockeyTraining.com

Da​svidanya and keep scoring goals,

Yunus Barisik

Don’t Stick Your Dick in That

I heard about this German guy who, unable to resist the allure of sexy gym equipment, decided to stick his penis inside the hole of a 5-pound weight plate during his workout.

He quickly came to regret his choice when he found that he couldn’t get it out.

To the dude's utmost shame, the fire department was called in to extract his dong from the hole.

With the aid of a cutting grinder, vibrating saw and hydraulic rescue device, the plate could be removed after three hours.

THREE HOURS. CUTTING GRINDER. VIBRATING SAW.

Thankfully the man was sedated so he didn’t have to suffer the panic of seeing his johnson so near to something that could chop it right off.

Ok, so what's the point?

Use training equipment the way it's intended?

And, don't stick your slim jim in holes ​it's got no business entering?

Actually, I'm not sure there even is a point.

Except for maybe dumb actions often have serious, unforeseen consequences.

Enjoy your day.

Yunus Barisik

P.S. For gym workouts that don't endanger your manparts, jump right over to:

http://www.NextLevelHockeyTraining.com